“It takes a village” is a time-tested proverb that underscores the importance of community when it comes to raising children. But what those villages actually look like is changing for many modern families, according to a recent survey conducted on behalf of The Goddard School, a network of early childhood learning centers.
Out of 2,000 parents of children aged 6 and younger, nearly 80% agreed that their village is different from what they experienced growing up. For one thing, the size has changed: The parents surveyed rely on an average of seven people in their child rearing, but recalled having a village of around eight when they were children.
Friends are also more likely to be relied on these days than in the past, slightly edging out aunt and uncle support. That said, grandparents remained at the top of the list of supporters, then and now.
Regardless of the breakdown, just having a village seems to be what matters most. The vast majority of parents (87%) said they believe their support system has “improved the development of their child’s social and emotional skills.”
That extra support enables them to spend more quality time with their children as well as complete tasks like cooking, cleaning, or errands, the survey participants said.
Many also added that the help allows them to be more present through the chapters of parenthood. Or as Lauren Loquasto, the senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, put it: the storm of parenthood.
“Raising children today is like steering a ship through a storm; it can be tumultuous and unnerving, and without a compass to guide your ship — or a strong support system to help you parent — it’s easy to lose your way,” she said in a press release. “I encourage all parents to take full advantage of their entire network.”
When it comes to more opportunities to further build their village, respondents said they’d enjoy attending more family gatherings and social events, educational workshops for parents and their children, and celebrations and cultural events.
“Parenting is a journey,” Loquasto added, “and while bumps and detours are inevitable, a strong village goes a long way to helping make the journey as smooth and rewarding as possible for the entire family.”
Wanting to expand your own support system? Here are a few ideas:
Know What You Need
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Divaris Thompson, identifying where you could use help is the first step in finding it. Are you looking for another parent to connect with about your journey? A family to swap childcare with? Ideas to better help your kids with homework? The more specific you are about what exactly you need, the easier it will be to ask for it, Thompson told Maisonette.
Seek Out Community Programs
Many communities have a wealth of free or low-cost programs that are run by the city or nonprofit groups. Public libraries and recreation facilities are great places to start as they often offer family-friendly activities that will enable you to connect with other parents while enriching your kids’ lives.
Get Online
If there is one group of people who know how to support each other, it’s moms on the internet. (Dads can get in on this too.) You can typically find “mom groups” on Facebook that are local to your area, but if you don’t see one, consider starting your own. Check out this list of other in-person and virtual parent groups.
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