Getting a compliment is kind of like finding a piece of candy on a hotel pillowcase: It’s a free, unexpected pop of sweetness that puts a smile on your face. But while you likely won’t remember the Andes mint a month later, a few kind words can have a lasting impact on your mental well-being and sense of self, creating a ripple effect of positivity in the world.
“Receiving compliments can often serve as a reminder to practice kindness with oneself. People tend to feel seen, heard, understood, and will often get the nudge to be a little gentler and less self-critical,” Ashley Goodwin, a psychotherapist based out of North Carolina, explained to Nice News. “It’s like the gift that keeps on giving, as people who receive compliments are more likely to give compliments.”
Earlier this month, we asked our readers to share some of the most meaningful compliments they’ve received, in hopes of shedding light on what makes one particularly memorable. To our delight, responses poured in from all over the world — from the Philippines to Portugal, Scotland, and even Antarctica.
Some were playful, like this line submitted by Maria in Anaheim, California: “If there were a zombie apocalypse, I would want you on my team.” Others were quite poetic: “You turn black and white into color,” shared Susanna in Spain. And from the hundreds of diverse submissions, several unifying themes emerged.
Common Threads
One through line that immediately jumped out at us was the acknowledgment of effort — specific callouts about the ways we aim to show up in the world that often go unnoticed. That these types of compliments made a profound impact tracks with what experts have found, as well.
“In terms of relationships, compliments, especially ‘process compliments’ (praising someone’s character or effort), can help with maintaining or rebuilding intimacy,” explained Doriel Jacov, a psychotherapist who specializes in relational work. “These are often more effective than ‘outcome compliments,’ where a particular result is praised.”
Compliments about the positive effects recipients had on those around them appeared again and again, as did remarks from strangers who couldn’t have known how much a warm word was needed at the precise moment it was received. We were also struck by how many people shared compliments that compared them to a loved one (moms got the most mentions, by far).
Another interesting thread we spotted amid all the kind words recalled is the number of respondents who said the best compliment they’d been given was one that referenced their own kindness. This highlights how much humans value magnanimity not just in others but in themselves as well.
Scroll down to read more touching submissions — we hope they inspire you to offer up more compliments in your day-to-day. And here’s one final bit of guidance for when you do so: “People should compliment in the moment, emphasize the truth or evidence for the compliment, and focus not only on appearance but consider character, effort, and intent or impact,” Goodwin said, adding, “The receiver is likely to feel a boost of dopamine and pay it forward.”
20 of the Best Compliments Nice News Readers Received
1. Someone I see often told me that I brighten up her day whenever we meet. Funny thing is that I feel the same about her! Surrounding yourself with positive people makes life so lovely. – Barbara (Illinois)
2. I frequently bring my 5-year-old son to visit me and my coworkers, and they all just adore him. Recently my coworker was saying how wonderful he is, and I told her he is so sweet and full of love and kindness. She replied, “He’s you.” It’s so easy to see the good in someone else and harder to see the good qualities in yourself, so it was very touching to hear someone tell me how they see me. – Shannon (Kenner, Louisiana)
3. Very simple: “Thank you for truly listening to me.” – Ron (Framingham, Massachusetts)
4. A friend of mine paid me the nicest compliment I’ve ever received when he told me I’m one of the most curious people he’s ever met. I take that as a highest compliment: to always love learning about something new. – Shannan (Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania)
5. I always wanted children and, unfortunately, not in the cards for me. I have been blessed with others’ children in my life and have been told that I have the right instincts regarding my interactions with the kids. What a blessing and joy for me in my life. I feel so grateful. – Edda (Baltimore, Maryland)
6. I was a social worker working with teens. After I retired, I saw a teen I had worked with, all grown up and doing well. She thanked me for all the help I had given her and said she would not have been here today if it wasn’t for me believing in her and helping her realize she mattered. – Barbara (Michigan)
7. Some dear friends once said that they all talk about doing things, but my wife and I actually go out and do them. We appreciated that realization. – John (Antarctica)
8. The best compliment I have ever received was that I am as kind as my mother was. – Kathleen (U.S.)
9. I first met the mother of a friend of mine several years after we became friends. When I introduced myself, his mother said, “Oh, you’re Chris! Every time my son mentions your name he smiles!” – Chris (Annapolis, Maryland)
10. My departed partner told me on his deathbed that “I thought you were the most beautiful man I had ever seen” the first time he laid eyes on me. – David (New York City, New York)
11. The best compliment I’ve received wasn’t about my clothes or appearance; it was a personality trait. I was working with an autistic child. It was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. Sometimes, I wondered if I was making any meaningful impact. One day, a social worker came to the center. She took me aside and said, “You are so patient. This is your calling.” – Vicki (Iowa)
12. The best compliment I have received is what amazing boys I have. Not only is it a blessing, it is the highest compliment one can afford. – Dawn (Texas)
13. I was a high school English teacher. One day I saw one of my students in the corridor. He said, “Mr. White, I was not going to come to school today, but then I realized I had your class; so I came.” – Damon (Florida)
14. I was 14, overweight, and extremely self-conscious. I was closed off to any friendships because I was sure that no one would like me. My homeroom teacher was a home economics teacher, and one day, in front of the whole class, she commented that I had the most beautiful smile. I was shocked because I didn’t think I ever smiled. But I certainly did after that. She ignited a small bit of confidence that gradually grew and allowed me to excel. For that I will always be grateful. – Sondra (Portland, Oregon)
15. I had lunch with my godmother who I hadn’t seen in years. She said having lunch with me was like having lunch with my mother. I considered it a high compliment to be compared to her. – Jean (Hoodsport, Washington)
16. A friend once told me that I am the campfire around which friends gather. I think she was trying to tell me that my influence in the community brings people together. Her words have always stuck with me and still make me smile, knowing that I made a difference. – Beth (Belfair, Washington)
17. My grandkids told me that I am their safe space. – Martin (Scottsdale, Arizona)
18. A friend once told me that my husband (now deceased) said that I was “the most creative person he knew.” I was both very surprised and greatly pleased to know he believed this. – JT (Green Valley, Arizona)
19. One day in a restaurant, a man I did not know dropped me a note on his way out the door. It read, “You shine!” – Lisa (Colorado)
20. During a high school class reunion, a fellow classmate said to me, “you were always nice to everyone.” That was probably our 50th reunion and now I’m 74 years old. Thinking back on that has always helped me to continue to be kind. – Melanie (Maine)
RELATED: Small Acts of Kindness Can Have Big Impacts on Recipients, Study Finds
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