After throwing a football back and forth with a fellow attendee at a Pride festival, John Piermatteo jogs over to give his new friend something they may have not received in a long time: a hug from a dad.
That simple but powerful interaction represents the ethos behind Piermatteo’s movement, Play Catch With a Dad. Launched as a counterpart to Free Mom Hugs, a nonprofit that offers hugs from mom volunteers to LGBTQ+ community members who have frayed relationships with their own mothers, Play Catch With a Dad aims to foster similarly meaningful exchanges, but with fathers instead. The mission is straightforward: “Help someone heal one toss at a time.”
“I had the thought that there must be people in the world whose fathers stopped doing things with them when they came out,” Piermatteo explained on the Play Catch website. In an interview with Nice News, he added, “I hoped to tap into something fairly unique that many dads do with their children. Having a catch is simple but meaningful.”
When Piermatteo first set up a handpainted sign at the 2019 Unity Fest in York, Pennsylvania, he wasn’t sure what kind of response he would get. But his idea quickly caught on, and today, he’s cultivated a network of 15 volunteer dads who tour the country, setting up shop at Pride events and creating moments of connection. At some of the largest festivals, his group might engage with up to 400 attendees, whom the dads have affectionately nicknamed “catchlings.”
Throwing a football is a deceivingly casual activity in terms of the emotions these aforementioned interactions can unlock between near-strangers. Piermatteo explained that the games of catch, some of which only last two minutes, start out neutral enough: Dads will sometimes teach attendees how to throw a spiral, then dole out plenty of positive feedback.
“Then comes the hug,” said Piermatteo. “For those who lost or never had a supportive, loving father, being told that they are a great kid, or how brave they are, or how proud we are of them, or that we love them can be overwhelming. What started as a fun smile can quickly turn to outright sobbing.”
Though the concept was well-received at Unity Fest, the lack of Pride celebrations during the COVID-19 pandemic brought his momentum to a screeching halt. But in 2022, Piermatteo rallied lifelong friends to accompany him for York’s first official county Pride event, and “ended up with eight dads spending the entire day in the rain playing catch and giving hugs.”
In 2023, he attended the Lancaster Pride Festival alone — but left a lasting impression. As soon as the doors to the festival opened the following year, a young woman approached Piermatteo and showed him a video her friend had taken of the two of them playing catch the year prior. “She told me that she watches the video often because the memory makes her so happy,” he shared, adding, “For those who may have had the first positive experience with a father figure in years, or even for the first time, those two minutes may well have a profound impact.”
And it’s not just the catchlings who benefit from participating in Play Catch. Last year, when Piermatteo’s good friend Jim Walter joined him at the San Diego Pride Festival, his wife Mylisa mentioned that he wasn’t a “touchy, feely, huggy” type of guy. “Sure enough, the first time Jim gave someone a hug, he was a bit stiff,” Piermatteo recalled.
But, he continued, “after holding several people crying in his arms, he gave everyone big bear hugs with an inspired enthusiasm. A week later, Jim called me and told me that I had not properly warned him about how many people were going to cry. His next sentence was to tell me about when Phoenix Pride would be taking place.
“Jim was hooked,” Piermatteo went on. “In fact, the most unexpected result of Play Catch With a Dad is that we dads finally have a tangible way to be of service to the LGBTQ+ community.”
While the catchlings certainly hold these exchanges dear, the wider community also reaps the benefits. Simply attending a Pride festival and witnessing the positive rapport between dads and attendees helped one 8-year-old learn why Play Catch’s work is so impactful. “Seeing these dads last year in Phoenix and the people wanting, needing, to toss the ball with them, really helped her see and understand,” the child’s relative wrote on Facebook. “Now when she talks about Pride to others, she often refers to these dads and why they do what they do.”
On June 12, Piermatteo’s crew was invited to attend Wrigley Field’s Pride Celebration in Chicago — which turned out to be “a huge success,” he said. And for first-time volunteer Kevin Cohen, it was an instantly powerful introduction to the impact he would have on attendees.
“A person came up to me at Wrigley and completely broke down crying in my arms before we could even have a catch,” Cohen told Nice News, adding, “I lost my mother when I was 14, and that pain has never left me — holding them as they sobbed, I felt the weight of all the rejection and pain they’d carried, and witnessed the incredible power of unconditional love to begin healing.”
Cohen continued: “That moment showed me why Play Catch With a Dad matters so much: We’re not just tossing a ball, we’re offering the acceptance that can change someone’s life.”
This year alone, Piermatteo has at least 10 events on the books, spanning Phoenix to Baltimore. But he hopes to one day expand the organization even more and establish local chapters in cities nationwide. “It is my dream that whenever there is a Pride festival, there will be dads there to love and support the attendees,” he shared, adding, “Everyone should hear that they are brave and loved.”
If you’d like to join the movement, visit the Play Catch With a Dad website to learn how to donate or become a volunteer.
RELATED: Free Mom Hugs: The Organization Spreading Parental Love Throughout the LGBTQ+ Community
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